Friday, June 13, 2014

Saying and Doing Gap

Never had there been a case of waiting for Shukla shasti for months, to go to Kottakal in 2010 or 11. Thanks to my kanya being populated with heavy weights, and a wonderful absorption system, AVS Doc said, have fruits for dinner that too before 7 pm. Even before that, used to have mostly fruits for dinner. That was a time, when reasonably good food was available, for a reasonable duration. Now that food availability timings are shorter, quality is gone, am at Maslow’s base level hierarchy yet again. Cycles of life, wheels of destiny, ups and down. Will come out of this.

Yesterday was at sugarcane juice counter and next to me was a guy munching red coloured fried masala groundnuts. Was tempted so much, thank god, didn’t grab his groundnuts. So went to minus one department store, ate 150 gms of fried groundnuts, doing work in parallel, that tummy hurt a lot all night and morning. To top it all, had rotis, rice, khadi in spite of feeling full. Even roomies, when they offer me fried peanuts warn me, that I won’t be able to eat. Still greedily, would take a handful and return what was offered, after munching just one with tears in my eyes and running nose.

Yesterday night, made a sankalpa to stick to original decision and yesteryear's practice of eating only fruits for dinner. Guruji ordered - take Chitrak. Amazing this tiny little white flowered wildly growing stuff. Have been reading about its properties and dangerous side effects since morning. Come rainy reason, it would be growing wildly all over. God!!! Please help me get back to good old days of having fruits for dinner, let me not get tempted with food, that too food.

If we do something continuously for 21 days, it becomes a habit.

1. June 13 Night 1: Heavy luncheon at office, so had one sugarcane juice and a guava for dinner. Back in PG, was tempted to eat, went and slept straight. 20 more nights to go.

Friday, May 23, 2014

My Niyat Pati

This Wednesday, Gandhiji called, and predicted wedding bells within 4 months from December; that moment, a desire crept inside.

There was a time in 2000, when i had to choose one amongst three guys (3 years junior, 1 year junior and 13 years senior), one sent 3 of his friends, juniors to convey his message and rest two proposed directly. After sending off my sister in railway station, my mom and i went to srirangam naadi jyoshiyar to check out the 7th kaandam. Starting 2000, i would ask every guy whose father's name fit what was written in naadi jyotish 7th kaandam, to confirm if the rest of details matched. My colleagues would be bewildered on why i asked them those questions, no match!!!

Put a full stop to all the three sincere guys in college, since details didn't match what was written in naadi. I interacted only with those guys who already had girl friends or married men while waiting for my niyat pati, whose details match what is mentioned in naadi. Dad once took off, to comfort me, after breaking up, with one such time pass relation with a guy who already had girl friends (then i learnt what it means to have 7H rahu without guru drishti). After 14 years of waiting, especially after tryst with a married police officer with exalted shukra chandra in 7th house, completely gave up on marriage as an institution. Was so caught up with so many activities all the while. Was waiting for Rahu to clear lagna and 12th house. Time has come. Guruji says no, Gandhiji says yes. So, prepared, either way. If i miss this timing, then i can be happily at the service of God and society without being mired in double family responsibility.

So when mom and bro asked my expectations:

Wish he is a strict vegetarian, a vishnu bhakta immersed in God's thoughts every moment. Wish he prays to sun thrice a day, then he would wake up in time and sleep in time, his digestion, eye sight, heart and spinal cord would be excellent, then his career timings would be reasonable and then I can expect him at home for dinner. Wish he is an obedient son to his father and respects him wholeheartedly; without father's blessings, which son ever had a good career progress with age, which son would ever have respect, name, fame, power, position as he grows old. Wish he treats his mother like goddess, without mothers blessings, which son would ever have a peaceful life on this material world or a good home or enjoy material comforts. Even pitru dosha has pariharas, there is no parihara for a mother's curse. Wish he has excellent relationships with his guru, elders - grandparents, grand uncles, grand aunts. Wish he is spiritual yet worldly wise, dynamic and practical. Wish he thinks big and gives back to the society at large.

Wish he has friendly relationships with his brothers, without brother's support, which guy can ever survive the competition, face the world with bravery, know what it means to share responsibility, be unselfish and care. Wish he lives together happily with his family and all relatives keep visiting him now and then for all functions, good or bad. Wish he contributes as an equal partner in bringing up our child.

Wish he treats those below him with dignity that a human life deserves and commands the respect of intelligent and those powerful above him.

Wish he does not binge on junk food and eat outside irresponsibly; relishes home food mostly, for then his senses would be under his control. Wish he does not force me to make morning coffee right after i wake up. Wish either he does some sort of meditation and works out for fitness early morning or does not disturb my surya namaskars early morning, insisting on breakfast or bed coffee, right after i wake up.

Wish he gives me absolute silence early morning, till i finish my prayers and asan pranayams or gives me time off when am lazy like it happens at times. Wish he gives me all the silence during parva kalas, lets me pray peacefully or prays together, lets me learn and gives me ample study time together and contemplate alone without disturbance. Wish he does not interfere my fasting on ekadasis and tuesdays and other fasting days. Have always cooked for mom when am fasting, but wish, he never puts a stop to my alimentary canal cleansing fasts. Wish he lets me sleep peacefully when am exhausted and lets me learn shastras or anything early morning.

Wish he lets me gaze at the moon and stars, any object worth gazing at in absolute silence for hours or days without making me hurry. Wish his speech is cultured, then there would be no dearth of wealth. Wish he does not mind me playing one soothing song or stotra on loop for days continuously.

Wish he helps in kitchen and household chores, grocery shopping, wish he knows how to select fruits and vegetables, and cook like a prayer to God in a good frame of mind, with absolute cleanliness. Wish he is very clean, and takes bath before doing anything or stepping outside. Wish he takes me for river, sea snana at appropriate times. Wish he escorts me to vishnu temples, escorts me for all outdoor activities and gives at least 10% in proper charity.

Wish he is a good gardener and knows to take good care of plants and trees and flowers and takes care of mother earth and its public resources, water, air and keeps it clean, disposing waste responsibly.

Wish he takes me for a tour to explore the nature, forests, hills, waterfalls, rivers, oceans, all over the world naturally, like a localite once a year and not spend extravagantly on exotic destinations in artificial over priced resorts.

Wish he knows the basics of siddha, ayurvedha, varmam, accupressure massage points, wholesome food combinations, knows the basics of human anatomy about his own body to take care of minor ailments. Wish he takes care of his body following svasthavritha, seasonalities, timings of food, without being mired in the rules.

Wish he does not compare me with other women in his past, present or future and impose their figure sizes or wealth or job money expectations on me. Wish he follows Raghavendra swamy or wish his spiritual guru does not clash with my spiritual guruji.

Wish, he lets my mom stay with me comfortably with a separate room of her own with all facilities.

Everything is predestined to a great extent EOD. Trying to be nonchalant after seeing my chart. Any astrologer worth his salt can tell the features and nature of the person one is engaged with right now, last night, at various points in time. So whatever!!! Everything is lord's prasad. According to lomasha samhita, at least 21 lives are connected back and forth, who am i to refuse God's gift in a spouse whatever be the package.

Right now, am a half baked, rather quarter baked astrology student. Need to focus on one technique at a time. Confused with which ayanamsha to use, which methodology to stick to.

After so many decades of being just myself, if i ever get married, would be glad for companionship, if i don't ever get married, will be mighty glad, there is so much already on my plate and guruji-rama-krisna are my constant soul mates. Sarvam shri krishnarpana

Shade and Water

நிழல்நீரும் இன்னாத இன்னா தமர்நீரும்
இன்னாவாம் இன்னா செயின்.

There is this verse 881 under "Internal Enmity" which states "Even shade and water are unpleasant if they breed disease." It extends the metaphor to relatives who might cause harm.

May is ending, still where is the Bangalore where peak summers had 21 degrees? All trees are chopped in this apartment and mall construction madness. This verse is what came to my mind first, the moment i craved for shade, optimal shade without being too shady.

Why Swimming
It was 2006, right after ambassador accident where my legs were unequal after neck of femur replacement and i had to wear height adjusted slippers to walk evenly. Had shifted to a south facing house in palavakam during Aadi month and the accident happened within a week of shifting home. Four months later, would cook breakfast, lunch in box, early mornings, for my sister to prepare for her entrance exam in the MGR University campus with her batch mates.

So one morning around 6 am, was shopping for vegetables to prepare breakfast lunch and there comes a tall guy like a hero, in an imposing black bike, dressed in black with black helmet. The bike stops right next to me and he introduces himself as guy from neighbouring locality HAPP and how he had seen me on crutches in our OFT bus and says he is glad to see me walk independently without crutches. So learn that his name is Rudradeep Ray (unsure), Feb 10 (very sure), working in Wipro and he is back from early morning salsa classes in TNagar. Inspired by him, wanted to learn something early morning. What else other than swimming.

Even in Chennai, maargazhi, december mornings are quite cold. I got my navy blue swimsuit and went to palavakam swimming pool early morning 5:30 to 6:30 am to learn swimming in ice chill waters. No one would be there early morning and i would have the whole pool for myself for a good one hour. On the way to the pool in the darkness, once even got to listen to tiny tots wondering on how did the day get divided into 24 hours and how time came into being. At their age, i just took for granted the seconds ticking, never wondering why, like those 2 feet boys discussing time early morning. Would be scared with dogs barking. But that 1 hour in pool every morning was my answer to fight back, no matter what destiny did to my legs.

In 2006, could not exhale inside water and could swim only short stretches, to the extent that i could hold my breath. After ilizarov limb equalizing surgery in 2007, no longer had to wear height adjusted footwear. Only in Jayanagar PM swimming pool, finally learnt swimming during summer holidays in 2009, 3 years after the Palavakam swimming pool episode.

Am still scared of diving, but can swim for hours in pool and love swimming and floating on water. Now with the scorching sun and chlorine water and lady's public timings at 25/hr (rather 40 minutes) from 3:30 pm to 4:30 pm, wish they had a sunshade or big trees shade covering the pool with net to catch the leaves. Wish desperately for shade from this scorching sun.

Let maari pour down optimally, fill all lakes, ponds, reservoirs and rivers, let trees grow all around, let the whole earth be decked in green, like the paradise it once was. Wish, had a swimming pool nearby without its rates burning my purse, wish public timings were after twilight hours when the sun was gentle. Wish!!!!

Wish rivers were clean enough to swim. Where has our ahneeka procedure on treating water bodies as devis disappeared? Need to research trees now. Plant all around now. There is this forest department in bannerghatta road, malleshwaram for saplings. Rains are going to come and need to start planting trees.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Rudrappa P Uppina anna – the epitome of Asteya

Stolen and returned (yet again)
Thursday Morning May 8, 2014 8:45 am

Just moments before stepping out, after the final pradakshina, realized that I had been robbed of everything – purse, mobile, valuables, everything with the laptop bag, that too in Shri Raghavendra Swamy mutt in Jayanagar 5th block. Absolutely penny-less, even to go to police station to lodge complaint, as mandated when official laptop is stolen, had to borrow Rs. 100 from the seva counter guy. Had been at mutt from 7:25 am, did pradakshinas for dwadash gurus without laptop bag, it was safe till then.

Saturday Noon May 10, 2014 – Raghavendra Swamy’s Krupa

Was checking the contents of my soiled laptop in RPU anna’s home in RT nagar. RPU anna’s driver Santosh, had found it, in a dark obscure place in Malleshwaram, where he had gone for urinating. After Adiga’s White Tiger, Santosh changed my perception of drivers. 3 gm Au ring, cash in purse around 270+ (thief spared one 2 rupee coin this time), including my debit card, Cadbury’s fruit and nut chocolate, mobile given by a Pentecost pastor anna, mouse went missing; rest of silver ware (tumbler, spoon and chandan mixing tiny bowl), laptop Latitude 6420, datacard, 32 GB pendrive, medical bills, seva receipts, everything else was safe. What else can I say other than Raghavendra Swamy’s grace , RPU anna’s honesty and his persistent efforts in reaching out when the thief had activated unconditional forwarding in my mobile, which I could deactivate only after 80 hours.

Last April 2013, my laptop and mobile was very much with me, lost only the laptop bag, yet, I sat crying from morning till noon in front of Raghavendra swamy’s photo and it came back, this time laptop also went, and it was not 1gm Au, 3gm Au, yet was non chalant. Of course, was angry on and off, teary eyed on and off, on having to ask others for money with the world’s worst bank ICICI’s delay in debit card replacement.

Back to Thursday After theft - Jayanagar Police Station Saga

The traffic police guided me to JP nagar police station, while seva counter guy said Jayanagar police station. Auto refused to come to Jayanagar police station. So walked to JP nagar police station to realize, Jayanagar was the right one.

At jayanagar police station, one police lady asked me thrice, about my chrome yellow sari, if that was part of my office uniform, I replied her no twice, that it was my mother’s sari. And another police guy enacted, I should have carried my laptop bag tucked under my arms and did my pradakshina. Imagine carrying the rock heavy Latitude 6420 like that. But there are folks who do panchAng namaskars for every step with heavy laptops while I need hands free while praying.

Current was not there, no zerox. So had to write the letter twice, for police records. Had to repeat what I had lost to every guy (10+) in uniform who asked me. Kept trying my mother’s number which was the only number I remembered and mom had kept phone at home and had gone to office.

3 police guys including a lady police in sari came in police jeep to mutt, where the police were given prasad, coconut, flowers and archak got panchamrutha  in small cups in the managers room where we were sitting. Told them, no, already had a tumbler full and the guy said one is not supposed to refuse prasad. So had a second tiny cup of panchamrutha. Police lady said, that she prayed to Raghavendra swamy that I should get the things back. Police didn't file FIR

Office Episode

With the seva counter guy’s money, took a bus and reached office, mailed first to office folks on not being available on mobile. Blocked card and placed request for new card which is yet to come after 9 days. Jai Ho ICICI! Receptionist guided me to legal department and legal guy asked with the greatest sarcasm, “so, how did you manage to lose?” Managers were supportive.  By 7:30 pm, after a heated exchange, got a duplicate sim card, which was registered on some Ibrahim’s name as per their records!!!  And Vodafone folks have called me so many times for renewing some service or other. Only on Sunday could manage to deactivate automatic call forwarding that the thief had set up.

Friday May 9, Ecospace

Reached the venue for the event, was taking notes furiously in the absence of android recorder and audacity in my laptop and event manager asked me to contact my manager who gave me the number of two people to call - security guy and RPU anna’s number. To cut the long story short, RPU anna resisted selling the laptop, he called up the office security using the number in the id card and security sent mail to all concerned. RPU anna has two cute daughters studying in 1st and 3rd.

Back to Saturday Ekadashi saga

Absolutely pennyless and having exhausted all borrowed money in auto and 1 day AC bus pass, my pushya colleague who escorted me to RPU anna’s home got 2 kgs banganapallis, insisting that bachelors won’t eat  fruits. RPU anna said his greatest satisfaction was on having returned things to the rightful owner. Funny life. If it was me, i would not have touched any laptop bag that was not mine, so the question of taking so much trouble to ensure it returns the rightful owner, would not have arisen. Home work for this weekend: to analyze patterns in April 4th or 5th, 2013 and (again got it back on Saturday April 6th, 2013) and Au bracelet that slipped on December 26, 2011 and this year May 8, back on May 10.

May 25 Ekadashi Again
A fortnight later, RPU anna messaged me twice and called me once. I didn't answer his call or text back. Asked my guruji, will that be considered as lack of gratitude. Guruji said no and I left it at that. God bless RPU anna, his two kids, wife and everyone at home. Still waiting for ICICI debit card. 

Tuesday, February 25, 2014


Kula Devatha

Dad and paternal grandfather's temple is Sri Sellandiyamman in Mohanur, which also has navaladi karupana swami temple outside ambal's sannidhi on the left. After a dip in cauvery before sunrise, realized that the Perumal temple would open only after 7:30 am. Was glad in a way, could go to kula deivam temple.

Temple had transformed. The first time, i remembered going there during college days, when my grandparents were still alive. Could not participate in annadhAna there, for the very sight of chopped goat's head impaled on spear nauseated me. My BIL remarked this morning how, i didn't touch food that day and had not let my nephews eat ice creams outside. There are few temples, where even after going till the entrance, can not enter and pray. Would be waiting outside, while my folks went inside for prayers. Thankfully, this morning, no such thing was there in the temple and it was peaceful darshan, with the unflickering jyoti lifting my spirits.

Sri KalyAna Prasanna VenkatramanAr temple

After a peaceful archana and darshan in kula deiva temple, found Perumal temple open. It is so funny, like in Rameshwaram, the pujari thought i was a student blessed me vidya praptirastu. In Rameshwaram, while my younger sister and younger bro got sheegram and adhi sheegram vivaham prAptirastu, it was udyogam prAptirastu for me. Glad to have darshan of Perumal on ekadashi.

Mohiniyur, earlier it was called Vidyanarayanpuram according to the pujari. See this

On my left was Rukmini SathyabhAma sahita Navneetha KRSN which immediately brought ChAyayAm pArijAtasya on my mind, while on the right was a beautiful statue of krishna half male and half female. Kind of krishna in ardhanAreeshwar form, kind of like dancing NatarAjar.

Hayagreevar was very famous here with localites and opposite to him was Medha Saraswathi. In front of Medha saraswathi was Bala Maruthi facing Hayagreevar and Bala Vinayakar facing east. They had done an elaborate Moola nakshatra pooja in front of Hayagreevar with heaps of flowers in front of God.
You had Chintamani Ganapathi, Varaha and Narasimha with consorts with Vishnu durga as koshta devatas.

Thanks to BIL who had enquired for abhishekam for my niece's board exams. Pujari had suggested milk and honey abhishekam on thursday. Am still not able to reconcile why pour milk and honey on Gods. Can't we just eat them and distribute, adding the herbs that are supposed to be in the statues. Need to ask my AchArya.

Trip back to Bangalore was smooth without hassles. Started a little after 8 am from temple and reached PG by 1:30 pm.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Two days by Cauvery

Musiri Puthur is an obscure place, where dad grew up with his maternal uncle since childhood for more than 3 decades. And dad, never mentioned his maternal uncle, even once. Need to dig the place history. Small amlas, papaya, drumstick leaves anything is nearby.
It is not just town folks who slog, till 10 pm, farm hands were threshing paddy, since temple was the only public place that had cemented floor.

Early Morning Visit to River
Akka had made a simple kolam first thing in the morning.

Sunrise by the river was stunning, sunset was even more.

 This was called KokkuUttanParai. When the river flows to brim, storks would be sitting on this rock it seems.

Bro and nephew wanted to make boats and all that was available was Bank of Baroda’s ATM slips, which became two tiny boats, which disappeared in no time.

A lone hyacinth on the river side.
Flowers on the way

Chinna Thottiyam Voikkal History

A brahmin lady married a low caste guy and this asavarna couple were excommunicated  from the village. In village, during construction of dams and such structures, it was custom to offer human sacrifice it seems. So the audacious low caste husband was sacrificed for building this dam.

The distraught wife, jumped into her husband’s pyre. A tiny bit of her unburnt silk dress kept on settling at one particular spot. So villagers invited the soul, which entered the 6 year grandson of the temple pujari. Finally, they built a temple for this lady who rushed into fire and call this temple as theepAnjAl koil.

After decades of eating chikkis aka kadalamuttais, for the first time, realized that groundnut flowers are golden chrome yellow.

The soil around the Plantain was white with fertilizer. Farmers are naturally concerned with yield rather than soil and underground water. It’s a 24/7 job not just in BPM in agriculture as well. Early morning 3 am shifts are for milk hands as well. Each with its own seasonality.

This papaya was just a little taller than 5 feet.

Folks used to comb their hair with this oomathaan fruit it seems.

 On the way. This nonna leave cures tooth decay according to my sister.

Was quite surprised to see passion flowers in a village.

 On the way to the river, thalamalai

Arai nellikas with which akka made a juice laced with a bit of jaggery.

This is a dusk flower.

Piping hot sweet puttu was waiting on Sunday morning.

Evening walk to river with storks settling on the field

 Sunset, water is cleaner on the western side

River bed is 90% dry, with pockets of water here and there. Dams, are for equitable sharing. Who is man to stop the waters that nature gave?

It is the angle of the camera, that shows so much water, otherwise, it was not even knee deep at 90% of the places.

Other Trivia
Dead snake on the river bed, which my nephew spotted.

Children, girls, villagers still shit on the roadside, leading to the river. River is not visibly polluted. At some places, river stinks shit in the morning and cleaned fish in the evening. Dams are closed from Feb 1st week, which again gets opened only during April. River bed was dry with pockets of rivulets here and there, deceptively deep at places. Lone fish kept cruising inside deep waters. At 1 inch waterspots, zillion tadpoles would swarm around, in wet soil, there were tracks of earthworms, in dry river bed, there were silts, to conches and shells to hard pebble deposited along the riverine curve.

Seems like it is procreation season. On Saturday morning, was trying to sleep in the bright light, after a tiring bus journey sitting all night from Bangalore to this place and a dog was noisily on top of a bitch, next to bedroom window, which finally shifted place to behind the temple, which reminded me of the scene in “A Suitable boy”. Later that day, it was two squirrels on the tamarind tree branch by the rear entrance.

Best part was the night sky view. So many stars, not visible to naked to eyes in Bangalore, twinkled in its full glory. From Jupiter in Gemini to Mars in libra to raising venus early morning, the whole star lit night was fabulous under the open sky. Early morning Venus, Navami moon, Antares in Scorpio and Mars were in one straight line. For the first time, could see the rashis as given in internet pictures.

While my niece eagerly looked at Jupiter and other nakshatras I showed her on sky, akka dismissed off venus saying, I see it everytime. Velli mullaicha, mantriki Apathu. (If venus raises, it is dangerous for ministers/politicians) and then dawned the aha moment. How did I miss it? It is so obvious.

The crowing cocks were our alarm clocks. No canned water, it was cauvery water with its natural minerals. After a sunrise and sunset 1 hour walk to the river and back home, piping hot food would be ready for a growling tummy. Every meal had at least 2 green leafy vegetables, plucked from the garden. Vegetables were from relative’s garden. Milk unpasteurized straight from cow’s udder. Simple life, peaceful.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Pleasant Surprise

Am on cloud 9.

Books that came on their own, books that are still close to my heart:
  • There was March 1st distant relative who gave me first colourful glossy Lori Reid book on “The Art of Hand reading” when folks thought I had leukemia after 12th std and this came to me on BHEL hospital bed
  • There was a Feb 15th guy, who gave me a guru shisya samvada – which built my basics in astrology in 2000.
  • After 2000, 14 years later my Dec 9 yoga colleague presented me Vedic Mathematics by Bharati Krsn tirthaji.
Am so happy… This will be something I really really treasure….Glad to get such a lovely gift today.
Just when I was struggling with astrology calculations, simple ephemeris q, to find the year based on sat-ju placement – eod astrology is applied math, was presented with this amazing book. Though was certified in Vedic math in 2010 by e-gurukul, could not apply it beyond competitive exams. I could remember only what I taught to kids, what I didn’t teach, I conveniently forgot. Need to teach to learn actually.

One gets Bhadra mahapurush yoga only due to guru’s blessings for teaching freely what was learnt.

We have a saying that  knowledge in books and money lent to others, in times of need, it is neither your knowledge nor your money. So stopped buying books. I just read voraciously in book shops and move on without buying a book and carrying and adding on to excessive luggage. I share a 80*80 with 3 other girls and lesser luggage, more space to breath and sleep.

Funny, mana prasannatah, utsaah, everything restored now. Of late, had been hurting myself, my right hand index knuckle got slit, deeply nicked my left hand apollo finger tip, that made it keying difficult, this morning, bled my inner lower lip in the left side by accidentally banging on wall, long before my left thigh just below hip. All pains vanished with this gift. Funny!