Sunday, January 17, 2010

Udipi and Malpe Beach

The Idea

On Wednesday, the night before pongal, the doctor pinged to say that he had got selected in Aesthavagen and that he was too happy to read for his exams. He said he was going to Meenakshi temple and I said, i will tag along. So we went and while returning from temple, he was talking about this beautiful place called Agumbe and how he had a family out there that would let him stay. He said, there are so many waterfalls and it was the best place to see the sunset. He said, he used to take his bike and go to Malpe beach and spend hours there. I was struck with Agumbe now and fairy tale like images of waterfalls trespassed my mind.

The same night i gathered folks for the trip. Tickets were booked to Udipi and plan was made, first to see the Krishna temple and then to Malpe beach, St. Mary’s islands (spellings ranged from Marry to Merry on the painted boards). Folks were more keen on beach than Agumbe.

Friday Night
My telephonic interview was scheduled at 4:30 and till then, I missed having my evening snacks in mess, waited tensely without freshening up. At 7:40 placecom said, the call has been postponed to Monday 4:30 pm. Around the same time my friend dropped in. At 8:45 was the bus departure from Jayanagar 4th block and he lingered around while I shoved all my stuff in my bag. I hurried, forgetting my purse, forgetting to change from my bathroom slippers, forgetting my umbrella. I had to borrow 500 from him at main gate and boarded the bus just in time.

Saturday Morning with Udipi SriKrishna
We quickly took bath, went to temple. Had a peaceful darshan. I had been there once in 1994 and after that this was the second time. I was surprised to see Krishna caged like that. It was like seeing a divine prisoner. We gave flowers, drank the teertha. Prayed for a while, gave way as cows were being led inside the temple. Apparently, on 18th some guruji was coming, so preparations were in full swing for the event, right from stage decoration to temple tinkering.

After darshan, we had a light breakfast of 2 idlies and bought fruits and boarded a bus to Malpe Beach. I felt as if there was a basket of dead fish next to me. It stank like fish everywhere.

Temple Entrance


Raths outside the temple


Whatz cooking behind the screens?


St. Mary’s Islands
Apparently it was a group of islands, one of them being coconut island. I just explored a part of the coconut island in the hot scorching afternoon. It was hot and i was glad, i bought a new lavender umbrella. We had to get down one stop before the Malpe beach to board the ferry to this coconut island. We got a entry ticket for 2. The fish stench was unbearable. Workers and fishermen were earning their livelihood, while i covered my nose and kept my words to bare minimum and walked under the hot sun, with the umbrella as my sole protection. A few minutes after we reached the counter, we bought tickets for 80 each. The huge houseflies there were stubborn, which refused to fly away with a wave. I took a newspaper to keep the flies away. Bald eagles, sea gulls and many kinds of sea birds were circling above. Tiny tadpole like fishes were swimming near the ferry. The ferry started and there were many families with cartons of beer bottles, many cute pairs. I was smitten by the charming allure of muslim girls in burqa, and svelte gals in dressed in sleek outfits.

We had fruits for lunch. Lounged under a coconut tree watching the waves beat against the vertical black rectangular rocks. These rocks looked as if, someone had taken pains to chop off rectangular pieces to shape them thus. There were big black crabs scampering all around and so many other sea creatures. I begged my friends to let me swim, stating, where do we have beaches in Bangalore and I don't know when i will come back to sea. The rocks below were slippery with moss and algae. I tried to walk between the rocks. I didn’t know about Malpe beach and was thinking that, that too would be covered with rocks. So i took on to swimming in the rocky sea from one rock to another. It was a small distance but i was exhausted and when i wanted to hold on to the rocks, i found there were so many black crabs black as the rock crawling around. I missed the rock and found i was going under water. Luckily, equally scared crabs made way for me to hold on to the rocks and gave me space to rest on it for a while. I bruised my knees, my knuckles, got a tear on my little finger, that burns even now. While returning to the shore, I floated on my back and on the beach, hoarded small mountains of sea shells. As we progressed away from the water, the same shells, got broken into smaller and smaller pieces forming the beach sand in a motley of colours.

Rocky Coconut Island – St. Mary’s Islands


Rocks rocks everywhere


Malpe Beach
We took an auto for 30 from St Mary’s Ferry Stop to Malpe beach. It was around 4:30 pm. I was so glad to see the beach without rocks. I had been swimming only in the pool all these days and it was joy unspeakable to swim in the sea and feel the waves. I jumped and played and swam in the sea, savouring the pristine golden sunset, exuding all its warmth in golden yellow, brilliant orange, scarlet red, crimson pink and ravishing blue. We were all soaked in the golden twilight. I played in the water even after the sun set, for hours after it got completely dark unmindful of my legs hurting. At 7, everyone left, except of couple of 1st year engg college students from Gulbarga. I played till even those guys said, return, for it has become dark. So i bid adieu to the sea at last, while my friends back on the beach scolded me on choosing not to pay heed to their words all these hours. We came back, had a quick bath and i discovered that my copper bracelet was shining like a new one. I was glad to have spent some time in the salty sea water. We just had time to have a quick bath and dinner of roti-dal fry and board our bus back to bangalore.

After sunset in Malpe Beach


Now am seriously going to prepare for interviews. Lost so much time. Got to see Agumbe by Feb mid when Sugi comes.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

2 Deaths

I came out of swimming pool and tried mom’s number while walking back to board the bus at the busstand, which is a good 12 minutes walk from the pool. She didn’t pick it up. So i called Cheenu and he said, it has been 9 months. Therefore, all this.

December 29th 2006
The Dream
Those days we were living in Palavakkam – sugi, I, Ani, and one NV24 girl. We had the room leading to the bedroom between kitchen and the second bedroom. Sugi and I slept off. That night i had a dream. I saw my ammayi sleeping on the cot dressed in green pattu sari. There were crowds of people, moving around. Even dad was in my dream.

Next day Morning

The next morning, i woke up and my sister in her usual calm voice said, that ammayi had passed away last night. She had got the call around 11 pm and she didn’t tell me because she was afraid that i would travel without bothering about the hour. She was right. I would not have minded midnight travelling. I was angry with her. My dream flashed in front of me. Last time i went to my mom's native place, I remembered ammayi, sitting on the dry riverbed watching me till i disappeared.

The trip

Last time, i went to get her ashirvaadham in a wedding, she made me walk to see for herself, if my legs were ok. Back in the bus, I felt my throat hurting. I was crying all the way. I told my relatives, not to take her before i reached. I took a bus to koyembedu. Then one to Namakkal and another one to Musiri. I got the garlands and it was close to 4 pm. So i hired an ambassador, got a garland and hurried and later dad called up to say that they could not wait any longer and they had buried her. Others were scolding me that because of me, the crowd had dwindled and only few were left to accompany her to her last destination. I decided am not to step in that house. My cousins and mom, chithi hopped on to the car and we reached musiri busstand. I decided, am not going to come home, instead i will go to my cousin’s house. I wanted to withdraw money from KVB atm and my ICICI debit card got stuck in the ATM. It took some time for the bank guy to come and retrieve my card.

Akka’s home

We reached her home around 10:30 pm. Next to it was a temple. My mama was a poojari. Apparently my akka had to wear a white sari because of this during her wedding. Every morning, she had to clean the temple premises in addition to her own house. It was a village and December cold was biting into my bones. In the morning, mama had got lots of vegetables and we made chappati since i was their special guest. My niece and nephew were excited by having a chithi amidst them after more than decade. By afternoon, he dropped me at the busstop and i reached home.

After all this ammayi came again once in my dream, this time with my mom’s brother and she was scolding me, literally slapping me. After that she disappeared for ever.


April 10, 2009, Unforgettable Good Friday

The evening before


It was during my summer internship. While returning from Biocon office, after reaching campus post office gate, i used to talk to dad over phone till i reached hostel. Whenever i had to walk on Bangalore roads alone i used to talk to dad and walk, be it going to parlour or buying veggies. This time, on April 9th when i called him, he didn’t sound well. He said he had severe back pain. His back pain was a recurring thing after a scooter accident decades ago. I asked if he had someone to go to hospital with. He said, yes. He meant my step mom. Later my cousin claimed he was there, when i had called dad. I called up my brother who lived 8 kms away to accompany dad to hospital. He dismissed it off, due to earlier misunderstandings again due to me. Even now, he continues to blame, that i didn’t stress enough that he should have accompanied dad to hospital. How was I to know that this was a heart attack?

The D – Day

At night, before going to sleep, i prayed that dad should be healthy and not have any pain. I woke up in the morning and found calls from my uncle. I had not brushed my teeth. So i didn’t attend his calls. I took bath, lit lamp and prayed that dad should not have any pain. I prayed for dad. I then called up uncle and he said, that dad was taken to hospital and that he was really sick. I went back to my ganesha and prayed , that if he is alive, let him not have any pain. If he had to have pain, let him rather die without pain than being bedridden with excruciating pain. Think i should have prayed for his life as well, in addition to relief from pain. Later mom called up to say that dad had died. They were separated for almost 2-3 years now. I could not believe my ears. I retorted what uncle had told that dad was serious. Then i saw the 4 missed calls of uncle and he confirmed what mom said. I was shocked. It was good Friday, so we didn’t have office. So i decided i will go have my first meal for the day before embarking on this unreserved journey. I went to Amritha Kalash, bought one curd rice, had just one spoon. But, could not eat any further. I just left the food. I went about mechanically, calling up my PM to say that i will not be coming to office tomorrow. Near the auditorium, i remembered that i had to dry my clothes from the washing machine. I asked DG to do it for me. I was told, i didn’t have to hurry, that they have kept him in a ice box, so that sugi could join from rohtak.

The trip

Around 12 pm, I took an auto to silkboard. A bus to hosur. Another bus to salem. Another bus to namakkal. I was wondering, why they didn’t take him to oft. I was still shocked. I sat on the gearboxes, i sat without thinking. I reached namakkal around 7:30. I called up Cheenu to ask, if they had something to eat. He said, no. He was shocked and he was feeling very guilty that he had not done his duties as a son. I had 2 idlies and then one more on banana leaf in a hotel in nammakkal busstand. I took the bus to mahadevi. My cousin was waiting with a tvs bike. I sat behind and went and saw for myself. Dad was indeed inside a icebox. My grandmom hugged me and cried. I still had no tears coming out.

The nonsense

I was told sugi would be joining us soon. I comforted my visibly distressed bro. I told him, don’t feel bad, he was destined to go that way - unattended. I was feeling so bad, that i didn’t do many things, i could have done as a daughter. I didn’t cook food for him, while i was hurrying for office. Though i prepared dinner after i came back. I was glad, he agreed to pose during my bro’s convocation in the beginning of April. For my sister's convo he had refused to stand in the same frame with mom.

I kept staring at dad. I was afraid to go next to him and slept outside on a mat under the bare sky with naked tubelights next to me attracting flies. One fly got into my ear and i woke up and went to sit next to dad’s box. It was around 3 am and my cousins were asking about dad’s bank details. I was angry and i told them, i had no clue about his bank details and his card pin number. I just slept next to dad’s box and i felt really strange to be lying next to him like this.

In the morning, people came, i just brushed my teeth. During brushing my eldest aunt came and asked me, if i knew what dad had done with this retirement money. When dad retired on Jan 24th, i told him, give the aunties, before they ask. Dad had replied, what will i do then. I stopped after that. No one knew what dad did with his retirement money. He had invested everything in his lady’s paper cup machines. No one got anything. So i swore to god, disgusted that by god’s promise, i didn’t know anything about dad’s money. I could not withdraw 10k as my bro had asked due to atm issue. I had got only 5k. In the morning, i gave that to my cousin. They ended up getting numerous saris with that for mom. My dad never wanted mom to wear her thaali. Now for this ritual, she had to wear this, so that it could be plucked off. She had to wear bangles so that it could be broken off. I was tired after a days journey and nearly sleepless night. So in the morning, while ladies came in packs, made a circle and cried, i tried to close my eyes and just collapsed on a coir rope cot. There were drunkard uncles who advised me not to sleep on this side of the coir cot. I just wanted to escape from this. Mom never cried, even for the worst thing. So i just had to console my bro and sis. They both were heartbroken, because they had never attended his calls. I was always yes-dad gal.

My dad’s houseowner only knew me and my stepmom and grandmom. The houseowner’s mom had died and he had his head tonsured. Only after they introduced themselves as houseowners, i remembered them. I served them food around 3 pm. Dad’s colleagues were asking over mobile if the news was true. I was sick of attending his friends calls.

I was planning to start around 11 pm, so that i will not reach blore in unearthly hours. But the bickering of my dads relatives for the share of bike and furniture in his new rented house made me crazy. I decided to leave at 7 pm. I felt 2-3 am in deserted bangalore streets was far better than these crazy relatives who laid new rules.

Back to Bangalore

Came back to hostel around 3 am. I slept. I went about mechanically. Only then, i realized, oh my god, i should have prayed differently. I was missing dad while walking alone. Now it has been 9 months since he died, and now it hurts my throat. God, dad was so caring, but in the end, everyone including his mom said, he left nothing for her to take care of her during her old days. Dad did everything for others. He tried to raise 2 of his sisters kids. He provided for all his sisters all his life, yet towards the end, no one was grateful for all that he had done. He gave out his life for us, yet towards the end, no one was next to him. I didn’t know that back pain was a symptom for heart attack.

Recently dad appeared twice, while i was still awake. Call it hallucination as in Twilight New Moon appearing and disappearing. Twice the Friday before last, and once when i was coming downhill Sivaganga. On and off he flashes. I have a feeling, he still has not entered another womb. He is up there somewhere. Gustave’s dream interpretations for dad is not all that good. On and off, he still comes in my dreams. Wish...

The Idea of Justice

When i returned back to my room after term 5 vacations, i found this book, freshly still wrapped in its polythene cover lying on the table and i remembered Paul’s words that i could freely open it and read it. I was wondering about, Amartya Sen, it is a heard name and later i realized he won Nobel prize in Economics and I was reading Justice, it is more like Social Sciences and went on to do a Wiki on him. A book by a scorpio, possibly a Bharani or Krittika, 76 years old and he won his Nobel prize when he was 65 years old. He must be a great great grandpa. So here is the review:

Introduction

Lord Mansfield, the powerful English judge in the 18th century, famously advised a newly appointed colonial governor: ‘consider what you think justice requires and decide accordingly. But never give your reasons; for your judgement will probably be right, but your reason will certainly be wrong’. The argument for tactful reason vs. doing right things made me wonder, do people ponder so much over reasoning and justice to write a book on this. Why can’t people just be sensitive to the people sitting next to them, the poor people around them while doing anything, justice will be then inherent in everything else that they do once they have that thought in their mind. How is my studying going to help the poorest of the poor lady i saw begging on the way to the railway station? Well that thought will make me study with sincerity, because, i know i have the privilege to change lives in ways feasible sometime down in future.

After two years of reading economics where professors give the ideal demand supply curve for one product and based on explain stuff, the fact that Sen ponders about why to have the concept of ideal
justice, when actuality is not so, is seriously worth pondering.
“The distance between transcendental institutionalism, on the one hand, and realization-focussed comparison, on the other is quite momentous.” Why bother about “the characterization of perfectly just institutions has become the central exercise in the modern theories of justice” when reality is sky earth distance apart.

An illustration of how difficult things can get with the three children and a flute, gave a different benefactor every time I analyzed. If Anna had to get the flute, what if Carla and Bob learnt to play it with equal or more dedication than Anna later or were already in the process of learning to play the flute and possibly become more expert than Anna. Then Bob or Carla would get it. What if Bob had petitioned that he was poor to many and others were willing to give him not just a flute but other toys as well, and bob was not keen, then Carla would get. If the labourer who constructed the building claimed that he built it with great love and care and hence it should be his, then what would the home owners do who paid for it all?

Sen’s obsession with rather stressing on plural reasons for any of the competing principles is just enough. “If a theory of justice is to guide reasoned choices of policies, strategies or institutions, then the identification of fully just social arrangements is neither necessary nor sufficient” strikes a chord.

“It is of course possible to have a theory that does both comparative assessments between pairs of alternatives, and a transcendental identification (when that is not made impossible through the surviving plurality of impartial reasons that have claims on our attention). That would be a ‘conglomerate’ theory, but neither of the two different types of judgements follows from each other.” The analogy of selecting a painting and having Monalisa as the perfect picture made me recollect of Oscar Wilde’s “All art is quite useless.” (Not that I consider art as useless, on the contrary am quite an admirer of such mesmerizing creations.) Nevertheless, Sen’s explanations with such examples drives home the point with such lucidity unlike his usage of jargons like comparative justice and transcendental theory that can be interpreted in as many ways as there are thoughts fleeting in a split second in one’s mind.

The need for an accomplishment-based understanding of justice is linked with the argument that justice cannot be indifferent to the lives that people can actually live. The importance of human lives, experiences, and realizations cannot be supplanted by information about institutions that exist and the rules that operate.”

True, quite often we have rules all made in the best of the intentions by the law makers and we find people to smartly find loop holes to do exactly opposite to the spirit of the law while strictly following the rules. What use of having justice, which obeys the letter, yet fails the very purpose and soul of justice?

“We may do the right thing and yet we may not succeed. Or, a good result may come about not because we aimed at it, but for some other, perhaps even an accidental, reason, and we may be deceived into thinking that justice has been done.” Processes and outcomes, the never ending debate and the role of dumb luck, well, has always been a never ending deliberation.

PART 1: THE DEMANDS OF JUSTICE

1. Reason and Objectivity

Lack of smartness can certainly be one source of moral failing in good behaviours. Reflecting on what would really be a smart thing to do can sometimes help one act better towards others. Made me remember one of the panchathanthra tales which expostulates that it is better to have a wise enemy than to have a foolish friend. True indeed, if everyone were to think of others as self, find oneself in others and find others in self, then the world would be a better place. Today the politicians are talking of imposing GST and contention over it, while all the politicians want to do is get more for their share while the masses in the villages anguish over the exorbitantly raising prices of basic commodities.

“Indeed, one of the main points in favour of reason is that it helps us to scrutinize ideology and blind belief.” Am yet to meet a single person in this world, who does not have even one single blind belief. It could be wearing a particular shirt for interview or why even believing in god. If one were to reason out everything, there would not be this thing of falling in love. Does everything have a reason. Vivekananda might say, reason out and only then you ought to believe in even your own teachers. However, we do have numerous instances of miraculous healing due to sheer blind faith and belief. Now we could understand the distinction between faith and belief. One says faith healing and not belief healing.

For those who are eternally optimistic and believing in fluke success - a very dubious procedure accidentally giving a more correct answer than extremely rigorous reasoning compared with a stopped watch giving the correct time 2 times a day was simple yet profound.

The seemingly simple case of redistributing food during preventable famines made me remember P. Sainath’s lecture. He surely has a way of speaking that makes an everlasting impression. Having queens feast while millions were dying of starvation outside, having a feast in Nero’s time while convicted criminals were burnt alive to provide light for the feasters still sends a shiver down my spine.

“Indeed, in celebrating reason, there is no particular ground for denying the far-reaching role of instinctive psychology and spontaneous responses” I believe that in addition to reason, one should ignore the gift of intuition and gut feeling.

2. Rawls and Beyond

“Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive,
But to be young was very heaven!”
Verses from Wordsworth’s and other poets here and there suddenly transported me to Hitler’s Mein Kampf where he talks about these elitists who use flowery words and things that are of no serious value to community at large and the art of talking to masses – public speaking, instigating them and inspiring them with plain common words and rousing them for collective action. And page 3 sequence where they show the masses crave for vulgar stuff and the class for finer.

Indeed, in his Justice as Fairness: A Restatement, Rawls notes that “there are indefinitely many consideration that may be appealed to in the original consideration and disfavoured by others, and also that ‘the balance of reasons itself rest on judgement, thought judgement informed and guided by reasoning.’

‘If the justice of what happens in a society depends on a combination of institutional features and actual behavioural characteristics, along with other influences that determine the social realisations, then is it possible to identify ‘just’ institutions for a society without making them contingent on actual behaviours?

Since no one has argued more powerfully and more elaborately than John Rawls for the need for ‘reasonable’ behaviours by individuals for a society to function well, he is clearly very aware of the difficulty in presuming any kind of spontaneous emergence of universal reasonable behaviour on the part of all members of a society.


3. Institutions and Persons

Ashoka says, ‘He who does reverence to his own sect while disparaging the sets of others wholly from attachment to his own sect, in reality inflicts, by such conduct, the severest injury on his own sect.

Social Justice – advancing the welfare and freedom of people in general is an important role for the state as well as of the individuals in society, but also that this social enrichment could be achieved through the voluntary good behaviour of the citizens themselves, without being compelled through force.

Ashoka’s nyaya vs. Kautilya’s niti

Paying attention to the purpose and consequence in interpreting a democratic constitution – Justice Stephen Bryer…

To ask how things are going and whether they can be improved is a constant and inescapable part of the pursuit of justice.

In the inclusive perspective of nyaya, we can never simply hand over the task of justice to some niti of social institutions and social rules that we see as exactly right, and then rest there, and be free from further social assessment (freedom from morality)

4. Voice and Social Choice



5. Impartiality and Objectivity

Classical Utlititarian in disguise as Rawls puts or Smith's impartial spectator: - the strength of his approval is determined by the balance of satisfaction to which he has sympathetically responded.

The impartial spectator can work and enlighten without being either a social contractor,or a utilitarian in camouflage.

Impartiality need not always take the form of being linked with mutually gainful cooperation and can also accommodate unilateral obligations that we may acknowledge because of our power to achieve socailal results that we have reason to value (without bnecessarily benefiting from thsoe results).

Limitations
(1) Exclusionary neglect:
(Closed impartiality) this isse can be particularly problamtice for 'justice as fairness' in dealing with justice across border,s since the basic social structure chosen for a socitety can have an influence on the lives not only of memebers of that society, but also those of others (who are not accommmodate in the orignial position for that society). There can be much vexation without representation.

6. Closed and Open partiality

Why, then, the need for an agreement when there are no difference to negotiate? The answer is that reaching a unanimous agreement without a biding vote is not the same thing as everyone’s arriving at the same choice, or forming the same intention. That it is an undertaking that people are giving may similarly affect everyone’s deliberations so that the agreement that results is different from the choice everyone would have otherwise made.

Rawls shows with powerful reasoning why judgements of justice cannot be entirely private affair that is unfathomable to others, and the Rawlsian invoking of a ‘public framework of thought’, which does not in itself demand a ‘contract’, is a critically important move: ‘we look at our society and our place in it objectively: we share a common standpoint along with others and do not make our judgements form a personal slant.’


International justice is simply not adequate for global justice. Again reiterates the inadequacy of institutional justice. The notion of human rights builds on our shared humanity. These rights are not derived from the citizenship of any country, or the membership of any nation, but are presumed to be claims or entitlements of every human being.

Indeed, when leave the world of locally confined ethics, and try to combine a procedure of closed impartiality with otherwise universalist intentions, procedural parochialism must be seen as a serious difficulty.

Even in a single classroom, with comprises of brilliant graspers and kind of tardy slow learners, the teacher is caught between going to higher levels for the benefit of top level students while the rest struggle or going slow and taking up easy tasks, while the super studs get impatient and bored.
There is nothing like equal equality. Even though the hand is one, the fingers are all different, each with its own strengths and weakness.


After this PZ returned from his Vipasanna meditation. He liked the dates and walnuts cake i had baked along with my friend in the microwave. When i told him, i still had half the book to complete, he rushed to bookstore to buy me another copy. Since he didn't accept the money i owed to him from thiruvannamalai trip, i was glad, the book shop was closed. I hurried for my yoga classes. After yoga, i asked PVS to come taste the cake i had baked. When he came, there was hardly any cake left, instead someone had kept groundnuts in black polythene cover.

Well, this was one book, that took quite some to read. Hope i get to read the rest sometime soon.

PART II: FORMS OF REASONING

7. Position, Relevance and Illusion
8. Rationality and Other people
9. Plurality of Impartial Reasons
10. Realizations, Consequences and Agency

PART III: THE MATERIAL OF JUSTICE
11. Lives, Freedoms and Capabilities
12. Capabilities and Resources
13. Happiness, Well-Being and Capabilities
14. Equality and Liberty

PART IV: PUBLIC REASONING AND DEMOCRACY
15. Democracy as Public Reason
16. The Practice of Democracy
17. Human Rights and Global Imperatives
18. Justice and the World

Monday, January 4, 2010

Kaarthigai Deepam in Thirvannamalai

Here’s my Dec1st thiruvannamalai saga.

I was looking for a company this time, coz it came on a week day and I was unsure, if someone would take leave and come for girivalam and deepam. So I was telling everyone during lunch about company and luckily PZ, a Swiss law student agreed. We practice yoga together every weekday.

Tuesday, Dec 1st 12:30 pm
We had lunch and boarded bus around 2 pm from the usual BMTC busstand opposite lalbagh gate. He wore a facemask in the auto in bannerghatta road. He used a disinfectant to frequently rub his hands, be it after eating bajji or bananas or oranges. Around 7:20 we were just 10 km from thiruvannamalai and found ourselves stuck in traffic jam. And it took close to 12 kind for the jam to get cleared and reach a place where we could board an auto from. We were amongst the last few people to remain on the bus, coz PZ had a 20 kg bagpack for his 10 days vipasanna meditation in Chennai where he was planning to go after girivalam.

12:30 am
We alighted and boarded an auto to go to temple and I discovered that my bag front zip was open, my mobile and purse containing debit card, 580/-, pan card, institute id card and photos was stolen apparently in the bus during traffic jam while I was asleep. We went nevertheless to the temple western gate this time and took bath opposite to western gate. And it started raining. We walked in the rain. Luckily PZ had got an umbrella. Guys were teasing me stating, how I got paired up with a foreigner which I chose not to mind.

5:00 am
We finished girivalam and just as we were about to enter the temple, we saw the three deities on the way and I was glad for a close and peaceful darshan. (kumbida ponna deivam kurukke vandha maadhiri) It was so crowded, more than Chithra pournami. PZ gave me auto fare and busfare and he went to Chennai busstop and I went to Trichy busstop and later villupuram busstop after waiting for some time.

7:30 am
The Madurai-karaikudi bus started and I reached home at 2-3 pm. I slept leaning on an old man sitting next to me. I didn't step out of quarters even once except for gathering dried clothes from terrace one whole week. I made keerai every day, and cooked and ate to heart’s content at home.

3 idiots

Before Show
I had not known that Aamir Khan would be buying tickets for us. The moment mail came - 3 idiots - register for bus, I did it, coz this was going to be last informal get-together across sections.
3 disparate iimb junta started wondering about the timings and my company during movie. One was an academic intern AK, another our students affairs councilor DG and the third one was a batch mate VM. The bus was at 4. It was pretty far from here.

I was surprised to learn that AK had worked on English movies in US and she had taught film editing on and off for 10 years. She had got a card and a gift for Raju Hirani and others. DG luckily opted to come by the 5 pm bus and I was glad that I would not be juxtaposed with AK and DG.

The Movie

The show started on time. And I left my e7 seat next to AK, coz I found my section mates sitting in the first row of the theatre and was enticed to join them, leaving AK at the last row with other ladies. Initially my head started hurting with my eyes scanning the huge screen in front of me. Later i got used to it. The first scene when I had gone to watch shooting jostling amidst the crowd in C-block and which made me keep away from shooting ever after was the underwear ragging scene. Only later folks told me, that the real ragging done in north was nothing compared to what was portrayed on screen.

It was a good movie and made me reflect on how I studied for some exams, without liking some of the subjects, just for the sake of getting marks, without understanding, aimed at just giving what the prof wanted. Given a choice, I would have taken literature, and fine arts - painting after 12th instead of doing dad’s engineering. I was really surprised, how they made the sets for flooding scene, even the room they made sets with was a eye opener for me about the film industry. It was a neat finish. Though parts of it were overdone. Looking at iimb campus, iimb junta opening door, even our Saravanan sir running as police was amusing. Before I leave, am going to climb the tank around 5 someday next week, and see the campus from top.

After Movie – with Aamir, Maddy
AK was writing the names of the film crew on a card to be given to hirani. I got to the second row from the first row. Theatre folks got sofas for Hirani, the lyricist, VVChopra and the guy who stamps the butts in the ragging scene. Hirani looked at AK and acknowledged her who was sitting next to me in 2nd row. They entertained us and answered few questions, even sang song for us till Aamir came. Aamir was young as usual and full of life, even after getting whisked twice to reach the theatre to meet us. The first thing he asked for was - where is appa, my father-in-law. That appa, whoever it was had left, he spoke to Pankaj sir who were sitting right across along with the film crew. He answered all queries with full enthusiasm and thoughtfulness typical of a Piscean.

Why do we need an Aamir to say all this? Aamir said he had spoken to edu min and he was aware of the need to change the present edu system and academic approach. Aamir said, the kids talents should be appreciated. Instead of asking, how much marks you got, the mother ought to ask, how many students did you help this day. He said, how he never studied coz he started working when he was 16 years old. How he played tennis and beat the other kid. When he went back home, his mother after being happy for his victory, a while later used to wonder, how the mother of the defeated child would feel. He asked for little bit of caring and consideration on the part of the winners. He said the most out rightly blunt words of harsh reality about VVChopra and still made it sound funny, without spoiling the relationship between them.

Then he went on to say, how each child’s gift is great. He went on to talk about abilities in TZP. To love and be good with machines, to sing, to skate, to read the mind of others, to be good in sports, to care for others etc. At this point, AK squeezed my hands and said, don’t lose it, even if hurts you at some point of time. Vishwa threw couple of questions at Maddy who was being sidelined. Maddy got a call in between and was visibly hassled. He just said, apparam koopidraen and kept it off. It was 10:30 and we were starving. AK didn’t want to be alone with director and faculty for the dinner Hirani had invited.

Back to Campus
I broke my promise of not touching trans-fatty acids and ended up eating chocolates. We returned in iimb bus, where I blissfully collapsed on AK’s lap amidst shouting and singing in the bus. Came back, had 1 dosa, turmeric milk in night canteen. When i went back to room, I had orange and pomegranate peeled and kept ready for me in a big coffee mug. Oh man, I thought, in December to eat such things after 12 at night, but could not say no and ended up eating. Jolly good evening it was, after a hectic day.

On the side note
It was really surprising to know that our prof Shyamal Roy sir had been instrumental in granting permission for shooting taking place on campus. Roy sir is one of the few profs, I really admire both as a person and a teacher. I believe simplicity is the ultimate sophistication; he was simplicity and kindness personified.

ShivaGanga

The inception

On Friday, my friend who was in IIMI came down to see me after 2 years. I was showing her, this is the water tank, which was shot in 3 idiots, and on a impulse, we climbed up the water tank, that involved scenes as in Bridget Jones diary, climbing up the rungs attached to the walls.

It was fun, sitting on the tank, with our feet dangling and watching the btm lake. It was breezy even at 10 am, not hot, pretty pleasant infact.

During lunch, she suggested, why don’t you go to Shivaganga, it is just like Nandi Hills. I had been to nandi hills on a pournami and it was great then watching the sun set from one end and the full moon rise from another. On Sunday night, after a nice swimming session, post dinner, suddenly i was possessed by this urge to go to Shivaganga. I asked AG, she said, she could not bunk classes on Monday and that she was ready for Wednesday. I asked my engg college mate, who was ready for Sunday and could not bunk his first day of the year at office, so i asked OR and he agreed after saying, he is not feeling well. I was feeling bad, so at night i decided to chuck this off and decided i will either go with AG or my college mate on Sunday. However, on Monday morning, while i was brushing my teeth, i was again beckoned and i called up OR who agreed.

Onwards to Shivaganga

We had 1 grape juice and 1 aloo parantha and boarded bus to majestic around 9:30 am. We got a bus immediately to dabasapete. Around 12 we reached dabasapete and took an auto for 40. We had 2 yellow bananas for lunch. We started climbing the steps and i realized, i cannot walk in this scorching sun. OR lost his patience, coz he was not used to straining when he was not well and when he had not had his proper lunch. He called up his gf to complain that he is only having only cucumber for lunch. Lo, i decided. I told him, if he wants to go back, he can, but i simply cannot afford another burning tanned skin after exposure to chlorine water in swimming pool yes’day on a hot Sunday afternoon. So, we killed time till 2:30 pm for around 1.5 hours talking about his mysore trip and other small things.

The 2 km trek uphill

At 2:30 OR decided, no am not going to wait any longer, it will take 2 hours to climb, so we will start. I wore my hooded sweatshirt to cover my hair from the blazing sun and we started our ascent. Every once in a while, i stopped to catch my breath and savour the rate at which things became smaller and smaller from top.

Just Near the Entrance



We had sugarcane juice for 10 per cup half way through. There were monkeys to accompany us most of the way. Monkeys didn’t spare a thing, not even a water bottle. It was good that we decided not to carry anything. On the way, we saw a garland, torn to shreds by the monkey, who ate only the yellow marigolds.

Nandi a little above the base




Another view




Half way through, we met ladies who were returning stating that it is too steep. It was a bit steep, but not unscaleable. It was a nice exercise for the legs and arms. Around 4:20, we reached the nandi, climbed up and went to the temple. I did my pradhakshina from outside, coz i didn’t want to remove my shoes and we walked up to the wall that served as tank and watched the blazing 4:30 sun. I still had my hood on. The breeze was strong and our legs were shivering, one wrong move would have plummeted us down to the abyss. But it was fun, to watch the lakes glowing in afternoon sun. We rested there for 30 mins or so, took snaps. I wanted to stay for some more time, but OR was prudent and he said, look it will get dark and we need to make it by 6 pm, before it gets dark. I was wondering, so what, god will guide us and we can walk down. So i sat there savouring the serene view from top with the strong hissing breeze, while he acted as my shield from the 4:30 blazing sun.

Shiva at top




Nandi




View From Top





Downhill
Then considering the kid had not had his lunch, i decided fine, we will push off. We bid adieu and started climbing down. For quite some time, we two were the only ones where ever we could see and OR was telling, how strange it was that no one was there. The shops were closed, only 2 monkeys were left and we started our descent, we took another route and found a underground tank, brimming with water. Something was written in kannada, and a ganesh was immersed in the water. A rotten lemon was floating in the water as well. I took the water and sprinkled on my head and climbed down further. Downhill was much simpler. I watched as the shadow of the hill, reached the three cross roads and in my next stop reached twice that distance within a short while. Around 6:30 we reached down, after having a mini cup of tea and elaichi cream biscuits for 12 totally.

Back to Blore

We took an auto for 60 this time from temple, we didn’t bargain. After reading various blogs we didn’t want to board a private bus. Boarded what looked like a govt. bus around 8 and reached campus around 10:30. I got onions and tomatoes and oil from night canteen. I put them in the oven before going to bath. After bathing, i made top ramen, i had few spoonfuls and then blissfully collapsed.

On the side note

My yoga mate, PVS sent me a link on Sunday showing kanchi priest indulging in perverse sexual acts inside the machesa perumal temple, attending to devotees. I was thinking, here I am going to pray to a male organ. I was admiring the genius of the man who created this cult of praying to linga. The shrewdness of people who created these rites and rituals of praying to nandi first, arranging poojas for money. Though Shiva Shiva is still constantly on my lips, it is still a conflict within me, as to what am i praying to. Is god within me, the person next to me and in every creature? Then why all this?